Blindness scares me. When I was 19 an eye doctor told me that if my eyes continue to change at the rate they were changing, I’d be blind by the time I was 30. I remember buying a new sketch book and colored pencils so I could draw everything. I felt like I had to show everyone what I saw and not waste any time.
It’s nearly two decades past that deadline and I’m still not blind. My eyesight isn’t great and I may be blind someday, but for now I have sight. I have sight thanks to the $1000.00 eyeglasses that take two months to get from the one lab that can make them with a new prescription almost every year. This threat of blindness may explain my affinity for bright colors and my sense of urgency about what I ought to be doing next. I’m always afraid I’m going to miss seeing something important. And I often do, because I think I know what I’m looking at until God shows me something entirely different…
This week I had the privilege of leading a retreat for a small group of clergy colleagues. I was struck by a few things: their passion for their work, their love of Jesus, and their exhaustion. We came together to relax and recharge. The time away was brief but amazing. We struggled with what it means to be on this Lenten journey, leading the people of God. There was a deep yearning to walk in the light of Christ in such a way that nothing hinders it.
I think about this group of colleagues, this week’s lectionary readings, and my own desire to keep seeing. It occurs to me that maybe the church is in this place of challenge, this place where darkness threatens and blindness happens just so that Christ may be glorified in a new way. If we keep searching, praying, seeking our eyes may be opened to the Light shining in new and unexpected ways.
My hope for this Lenten journey is that we all see the beauty of this amazing journey God has invited us on.
RCL – Year A – Fourth Sunday in Lent
1 Samuel 16:1-13